Essensual Essay: Becoming a Horn Tooter

Francesca Gentille

She's beautiful. Dark, depthful brown tilted eyes, light coffee with loads of cream skin, slender limbs, exquisite hands. Her boy friend proudly shows me a pencil sketch of her he's recently done. It is quite good, yet fails to fully capture, the pouting lips, soulfully serious expression and tilt of her occasionally imperious nose.

I say, " It's good. And I can see it as the beginning in a series of explorations of her beauty." She ducks her head and tries to burrow into the back of the couch. I ask, "Why is it so hard to hear and take in that you are beautiful?" Her reply " I've always been told it's not good to be too full of yourself."

Don't be so full of yourself!
Stop tooting your own horn!
Who do you think you are!

Let's look at these one by one. We hear them over and over in our culture.
They are messages interwoven in our culture to represent the normal way of being. They mirror for us a culture that is self-wounded, body negative, sexuality distrusting, and earth dominating.

Don't Be So Full of Yourself!
Why shouldn't I be FULL OF MYSELF? Truly, who else should I be full of?
Wouldn't being full of my lover's thoughts, my parent's or my bosses be an abdication or abduction of me? If I were not full of myself, wouldn't I be living a lie?

Yes, it is good and wise to listen openly to other's opinions and to weigh them with discernment. But after weighing them to integrate them CONSCIOUSLY into my core truths. So, today I claim being filled with my SELF. My soul. My gorgeous, authentic life path and force. I invite us to BE FULL of our SELVES. And revel in that joy.

Stop Tooting Your Own Horn!
Well, my, my. Wouldn't it be rude of me to grab someone else's and toot it?
If it's my horn, doesn't it belong to me? Isn't it my right and creative obligation to toot it? As an owner of my own horn I am an artist. It is my life journey to become the best artist I can be. The artist of my life. As an artist it is my gift to my society to bring forth my art. To create music with my life. To make beautiful music with those I love. And to toot, toot, toot in harmony with the dance of the spheres.

Today, I invite us to dust off our horns, polish them up and toot away. The more we practice tooting, the more beautiful and harmonious our world becomes. And the better able we are to improve in delicious jazz harmonies with others tooting their instruments. Today let's practice TOOTING OUR OWN horns! ! !

Who Do You Think You Are?!
And the last question . . . Who do we think we are? Royalty, a beggar, a winner, a loser, a lover, a day-dream believer? How do we get to the place where we think that's who we are? Is it because of what other's have told me or beaten into me? Is it a reaction, rebellion or rejection? Or is it because of what my heart and soul tell me that I truly am and am capable of?
Am I the sum of my fearful thoughts? Am I the product of my hopeful and visionary thoughts?

What if who I am is the sum of all my thinking? Not only what I think but the actions and re-actions that arise from my thoughts, each day? What if, as a magician of consciousness, I get to raise my awareness and consciously CHOOSE MY THOUGHTS?
What if I got to DECLARE who I am to the world and then CHOOSE MY ACTIONS based on who I say that I am.

For example, let's say I have never painted but always wanted to. I declare I am a painter. Then I choose to take art classes. Book art showings. Give my paintings as gift. Soon everyone sees me as a painter. They reflect that back to me. I am a painter! But first was my declaration. My conscious thought - spoken out loud. Then my committed actions based upon my declaration. I have created myself to be who I think that I am.

Today, I invite us to consciously THINK ABOUT WHO WE ARE? Is that who we want to be? Then let's celebrate that.

Is there a gap between who we want to be and who we think we are today? Then let's make a declaration and commit to actions that bring to us the future self we desire.

Today, I declare myself as loving mother, successful writer, life coach and beloved partner. Where there are gaps, I commit to taking action and thinking the thoughts that bring my desired future to me.

It is said,

"IT IS NOT that artists are special people. IT IS that each person is a special kind of artist." - Anonymous

Today I invite us to claim the special kind of artist we think we are and to declare that proudly to the world!

For it is said,

"If you are not living your authentic soul in the world it is as if you are not alive on the planet.
What must you do to be alive?" - Priestess Mirae

She's beautiful. Dark, depthful brown tilted eyes, light coffee with loads of cream skin, slender limbs, exquisite hands. Her boy friend proudly shows me a pencil sketch of her he's recently done. It is quite good, yet fails to fully capture, the pouting lips, soulfully serious expression and tilt of her occasionally imperious nose.

I say, " It's good. And I can see it as the beginning in a series of explorations of her beauty." She sits up with an air of warm pride, takes a deep relaxed breath and smiles. I can see her breathing in our appreciation. She says, " Thank you for appreciating me. That feels good in my body. I feel blessed to have such wonderful friends." I notice my own body is relaxing and enlivened by her ease and grace with receiving compliments.

And so may it be.

September 26th, 2003,