DISH: Honeyed Lady (and Lord) Fingers

Dear Diva,
 
I love sex yet often long for something . . . more. When I try to tell men about what I want, it just never seems to work. It’s not about DOING something better or different (most of the time.) It’s about something else. It’s about some inner state of BEING. I want them to touch me enticingly or attentively or spiritually or with love.
 
Usually, after a few months of trying to explain, I get frustrated and bored and end the relationship. Every now and then I run into a guy who is just intuitively amazing. He knows what I want as if he could read me from the inside out. I don’t have to say anything. Every bit of his body (hand, chest, cock etc) seems tuned in to my deepest soul. He sexually rocks my world but those guys seem to be the ones who can’t commit, or have tons of girlfriends, or treat me in ways that I don’t’
like outside of the bedroom.
 
Is this making any sense?
 
Trish

Cara Budding Priestess of Love,
 
Those of us who LONG for the Magical Lover, have the Magical Lover within us. We are the budding Priests and Priestesses of Love & Sacred Sexuality. You have the ability to sense that there is something more possible in sexuality and you are correct. You also intuitively guess that without heart & consciousness, the most incredible sexuality can be (or become)  addictive and/or manipulative.
 
I love my longings, they become beacons and guides for the path of my soul.
 
THE PARADOX:
 What we LONG FOR in someone else is the path of our OWN SOULS GROWTH.
 
We all long to be touched body, heart, mind and spirit. It’s so fulfilling. HONEYED FINGERS means that sweet ability to touch someone’s soul as well as their body.
 
SADLY - Our culture teaches us that sex is a high, a rush, a quick fix candy bar of taste and sensation. Chewy, smooth or crunchy. How do you like it? We have shelves and shelves of it in our huge store. But when sex is a candy bar, we can eat and eat yet never get full. It’s rush of up and down that plays havoc with our energy, and emotional well being.  It’s easy to be addicted to a yummy candy bar. It’s easy to manipulate others with tantalizing sweetness.
 
Sacred Love teaches that touch, (and intercourse) when combined with spirit, heart, healing, creativity and conscious intention create a feast of the senses and the soul. Such a feast fills us for days, weeks, even months. We can have it as often as we like, and its good for our body, mind and spirit.
 
In my life, after 12 intense, traumatic, crashed, committed relationships and over 50 lovers, I had to face some challenging truths. I discovered that everything I accused others of, and everything I longed for, lived within me. After the shock, came empowerment. After the pain, came choice. Rather than giving my power away in the unending search for something OUT THERE, I took on the work of becoming the divine and sacred lover. What great work!
 
Most of us long for a great restaurant of love that’s always open, hot and ready to serve our favorite dish that’s healthy, nutritive and with no clean up. It just doesn’t exist.
 
Each of us can become an amazing chef of love that knows how to whip up something delicious on the spur of the moment, or craft an incredible feast for hours. With that skill under our belt, we are fulfilled in every love situation because WE ARE THE SACRED. We bring it. We stir it up in others.
 
Becoming a Master Chef of Love (like any mastery) takes ongoing learning, training and development. It is a lifelong PRACTICE, we are never complete. It’s starts with good home cooking with our own bodies, in self-loving practices.
 
I recommend getting coaching and therapy around any childhood wounds that block the open sharing of love and intimacy.
 
I recommend reading books on Sacred Love and Sacred Sexuality.

• Into the Heart of the Flame By Cerridwen FallingStar
• Aphrodite’s Daughters By Jalaja Bonheim
• FOR MEN: The Way of the Superior Lover For Men by David Deida

I recommend watching videos that focus on Sacred Sexuality:

• Bliss
• Sacred Sexuality
• The Ancient Art of Sexual Ecstasy

You are a blessing to the world.
 
Amore,
Diva Francesca