DISH: Sautee of Mirrors

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Dear Diva,

Men never commit to me or bore me. What's a girl to do?

Sarah
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Caro Siren Sarah,

Wow! I very much identify with your question.

But first A WISDOM TEACHING: Soulful loving opens to the secret knowledge - - - OUR LOVER IS OUR MIRROR.

You as SIREN, and each of us as SIREN, inevitably call to us the perfect mirror.

No one commits to you?

MIRROR THAT BACK TO YOU:
How are you afraid of commitment?

Did you have a controlling, neglectful, or emotionally denigrating family that showed their love and commitment to you in hurtful ways?
Might that have parts of your Inner Family running from commitment?

IN MY LIFE:
It appeared that men would never commit to me. One day I asked myself - What Is Commitment? Then I "free associated" and wrote whatever came into my head. The answers shocked me. I wrote:
Commitment is a trap. Commitment steals you soul. Commitment gives people permission to control and dominate.

No wonder I had always chosen men who couldn't commit. It was much safer for some Inner Aspects of my being.

I ENCOURAGE YOU:
To seek and find the parts of your Inner Family that fear commitment. Love them. Listen to them. Commit to nourishing their needs for safety. Then it will become possible to commit to another.

How about men who are boring?

MIRROR THAT BACK:
How are you afraid of stillness? Quiet? Calm? What supressed emotions are hiding under an addiction to intensity or activity?
Did you ever think of yourself as a nobody or a nothing until you became a whirlwind of EXPRESSION and INTENSITY?
Did someone in your family of origin only find their sense of worthiness through action?

Are there ways you may be using activity, and intensity and work to avoid feeling?

IN MY LIFE:
I often said my worst fear was of being bored. Little did I know that my racing from attraction to activity to variety was a cover up for the pain that was underneath. My beautiful, still, quiet soul was crying and asking me to come home.

When I slowed down, it hurt at first. Then I found a loving relationship with Self I never thought was possible. Then I was able to appreciate the quiet, the slow, the calm, and the peaceful. Then I was able to love another for himself not as a FIX to help me avoid my pain.

If we want peace on the planet, we need to heal our own addictions to intensity, judgmentalism (inner/outer), and highs.

I ENCOURAGE YOU:
To nourish your capacity to feel and to love your own feelings. I encourage you to invite the stillness to speak to you. I invite you to slow down, breathe and be ever more present right where you are.

PEACE IS PASSIONATE:
In Tantra there is a space of FULL PRESENCE from which creative EROS and passion arise. It is infinite. Timeless. Delicious. Divine. You have that in you dear Siren. Expand it to all of life - - - especially into loving and being WITH YOU!

Amore sempre,
The Diva
M. Francesca Gentille
Diva of Divine Relationships